Funny Msg!

Sandy is so poor when i stepped on a Penney on the ground she said,hey get off my pay check.

Sandy is so fat it took 2 buses,1 train,3 boats,a car,a motorcycle,a roller coaster,a skateboard,a bike and a air plane just to get half way around her!

Sandy so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Sandy so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

Sandy so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Sandy so fat were in her right now

Sandy so fat people jog around her for exercise

Sandy so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Sandy so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Sandy so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for then new world

Sandy so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Sandy so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Sandy so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

Sandy so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Sandy so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Sandy so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Sandy so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Sandy so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Sandy so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Sandy so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Sandy so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Sandy so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Sandy so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Sandy so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Sandy so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Sandy so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Sandy so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Sandy so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Sandy so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Sandy so fat she's got her own area code!

Sandy so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!

Sandy so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!

Sandy so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Sandy so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Sandy so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Sandy so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Sandy so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Sandy so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Sandy so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Sandy so fat she wakes up in sections!

Sandy so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Sandy so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.

Sandy so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Sandy so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Sandy so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

Sandy so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Sandy so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Sandy so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Sandy so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Sandy so fat every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Sandy so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Sandy so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Sandy so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Sandy so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Sandy so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Sandy so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Sandy so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearing tights!

Sandy so fat she got hit by a parked car!

Sandy so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Sandy so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Sandy so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Sandy so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

Sandy so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!

Sandy so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

Sandy so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th

Sandy so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too

Sandy so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please

Sandy so fat she fell in love and broke it!

Sandy so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!

Sandy so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Sandy so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Sandy so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Sandy so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Sandy so fat when she back up she beep.

Sandy so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Sandy so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Sandy so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Sandy so fat she influences the tides.

Sandy so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Sandy so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

Sandy so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Sandy so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

Sandy so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Sandy so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Sandy so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

Sandy so fat she stands in two time zones.

Sandy so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

Sandy so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Sandy so fat shes on both sides of the family

Sandy so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Sandy so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

Sandy so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Sandy so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

Sandy so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!

Sandy so fat she lays on the beach and Greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Sandy so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out

Sandy so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Sandy so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

Sandy so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

Sandy so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Sandy so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

Sandy so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Sandy so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Sandy so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....

Sandy so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.

Sandy so fat she hula-hooped the super bowl.

Sandy so fat she was baptized in the ocean.

Sandy so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.

Sandy so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Sandy so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Sandy so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Sandy so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Sandy so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

Sandy so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch a 60 minute movie

Sandy so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Sandy so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

Sandy so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read

Sandy so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

Sandy so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Sandy so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Sandy so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Sandy so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

Sandy so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Sandy so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Sandy so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Sandy so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Sandy so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Sandy so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

Sandy so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

Sandy so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

Sandy so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Sandy so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Sandy so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Sandy so stupid she stole free bread.

Sandy so stupid she took a spoon to the Superbowl.

Sandy so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Sandy so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Sandy so stupid she makes Beavers and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Sandy so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Sandy so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jim.

Sandy so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Sandy so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Sandy so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Sandy so stupid she thinks Fleet wood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonald's!

Sandy so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Sandy so stupid that she thought Boys II Men was a day care center.

Sandy so stupid she bought a video camera to record cable tv shows at home.

Sandy so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Sandy so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

Sandy so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Sandy so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Sandy so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

Sandy so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

Sandy so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.

Sandy so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

Sandy so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!

Sandy so greasy she sweats Crisco!

Sandy so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her

Sandy has one leg and a bicycle.

Sandy has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.

Sandy has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.

Sandy has one hand and a Clapper.

Sandy has green hair and thinks she's a tree.

Sandy has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.

Sandy has 10 fingers--all on the same hand.

Sandy has a glass eye with a fish in it.

Sandy has a short leg and walks in circles.

Sandy has a short arm and can't applauded.

Sandy has so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!

Sandy has three fingers and a banjo.

Sandy has a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.

Sandy has a bald head with a part and sideburns.

Sandy has a wooden leg with branches.

Sandy has so many teeth missing; it looks like her tongue is in jail.

Sandy so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio

Sandy so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.

Sandy so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared.

Sandy so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where Sandy’s daddy has two jobs.

Sandy so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote!

Sandy so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.

Sandy head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow.

Sandy head so small that she got her ear pierced and died.

Sandy so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

Sandy so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Sandy so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

Sandy so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!

Sandy so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

Sandy so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

Sandy so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Sandy so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp.

Sandy so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

Sandy so poor she drives a peanut.

Sandy so poor she waves around a Popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

Sandy so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.

Sandy so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

Sandy so bald even a wig wouldn't help!

Sandy so bald you can see whats on her mind

Sandy so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.

Sandy so hairy you almost died of rug burn at birth!

Sandy so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock.

Sandy so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

Sandy so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

Sandy so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

Sandy so dark she spits chocolate milk!

Sandy so dark she went to night school and was marked absent.

Sandy so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

Sandy so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.

Sandy so short she poses for trophies!

Sandy so short you can see her feet on her drivers license!

Sandy so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

Sandy so short she can play handball on the curb.

Sandy so short she does back flips under the bed.

Sandy so short she models for trophy's.

Sandy so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.

Sandy so nasty she made right guard turn left.

Sandy so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave

Sandy so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.

Sandy so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.

Sandy so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.

Sandy so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Sandy so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Sandy so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Sandy so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Sandy so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Sandy so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Sandy so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Sandy so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Sandy so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras

Sandy so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Sandy so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Sandy so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"

Sandy so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Sandy so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Sandy so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Sandy so ugly she made an onion cry.

Sandy so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!

Sandy so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

Sandy so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!

Sandy so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Sandy so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Sandy so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Sandy so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Sandy so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Sandy so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Sandy so ugly The NHL banned her for life

Sandy so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!

Sandy so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!

Sandy so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!

Sandy so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

Sandy so ugly she made an onion cry!

Sandy so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Sandy so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Sandy so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Sandy so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!

Sandy so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Sandy so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Sandy so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Sandy so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

Sandy so old her social security number is 1!

Sandy so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Sandy so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Sandy so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

Sandy so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Sandy so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Sandy so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

Sandy so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

Sandy so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Sandy so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.

Sandy so dirty she makes mud look clean.

Sandy so dirty that she was banned from a sewage facility because of sanitation worries!

Sandy so dirty that you can't tell where the dirt stops and she begins.

Sandy head so big she has to step into her shirts.

Sandy head so big it shows up on radar.

Sandy house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!

Sandy house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

Sandy teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!

Sandy teeth are so yellow she spits butter!

Sandy's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

Sandy's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

Sandy house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.

Sandy house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.

Sandy house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

Sandy nose so big she makes Pinocchio look like a cat!

Sandy nose so big that her neck broke from the weight!

Sandy hair so short when she braided it they looked like stitches.

Sandy hair so short she curls it with rice.

Sandy so flat she's jealous of the wall!

Sandy so flat she's jealous of a book!

Sandy so flat she's jealous of a piece of paper!

Sandy feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!

Sandy ain't so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back!

Sandy lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.

It took Sandy 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldn't get used to the front seat!

Sandy hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.

Sandy hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.

Sandy so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.

Sandy so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.

Sandy twice the man you are.

Sandy cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.

Sandy is missing a finger and can't count past nine.

Sandy arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.

Sandy middle name is Rambo.

Sandy in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna punch me 'round no more."

Sandy rouchy, the McDonald she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.

Sandy so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.

Sandy mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.

Sandy gum's are so black she spits Yoo-hoo.

Sandy breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.

I saw your mama at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle.

I saw your mama kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doing, and she said "Moving."

Sandy teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.

Sandy is so big and fat she sat on the rainbow and made the skittles come out